Familiar Taste of Poison

Drink the wine, my darling, you said
Take your time, and consume all of it
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and?

(CHORUS)
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

(VERSE 2)
I tell myself that you're no good for me
I wish you well, but desire never leaves
I could fight this 'til the end
But maybe I don't want to win

(CHORUS)

(BRIDGE)
I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober
I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind these eyes
And I won't wake up, no not this time

(CHORUS)

A familiar taste of poison
-Halestorm

_____


it seems, that the minute i stop trying... once i get myself into a place where i am happy...and i stop fighting that...when i just let myself -be-... the Fates step in and deal me a blow so harsh, it leaves me raw and open, bleeding and oozing, numb....

a Home..a threshold... something i hadn't had in such a long time... and its threatening to leave...security...most people take that for granted...i know i used too, but lately it's been a precious commodity i keep telling myself that the bad won't happen...for the first time in a long time i am pushing for the optimistic point of view... i am pushing hoping and praying that this week i will get a call, an email.. i will get something to help me stay here... because finances have gone, the Fates have dealt both her and i a blow, and together we can make it through, all three of us, but seperate....someone will suffer.

i don't know why it amazes me, words, phrases..but they do... the stress of the last two days... things mounting, hormones (i think they played a -tiny- part for both of us... all of this... words had been said, 'you can visit' 'i want you here for the baby'...but what hadn't been said until last night after what was one of the worst moments of my life....what hadn't been said until that point.. 'i don't want you to go'...

i knew it.. deep down i knew that... while i might have doubts of my usefulness, of my being... while i might wonder if i am any good for you, all three of you (babyincluded!) when i get into my low phases... i know you care.. i know that..but that hadn't been said..and now that it has, i still feel like crying...but not for the same reasons (well not all of them)...and i am more determined to make this work..somehow this is going to work... i will not have my home torn from me again...

i don't care how used i am to tasting that poison... i want the antidote....