Sometimes....

alright i know it's been...well forever. if you've followed this from the begining you know that i stated that i don't DO blogs on a normal basis. either i forget or i just don't want to...and when i go to do it i get distracted...and well that becomes the end of THAT particular activity...however that being said this is another disclaimer that i don't always keep up with blogs, virtual or otherwise...for those that are an avid follower of my work, my blogs, know that they rarely make any sense as a whole peice...things strike me so i put them down...if you are new to this, i won't apologize for it..just suck it up and go with it. it's how i roll.

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sometimes you just know things. a gut instinct, you don't have to be told, the knowing just either grows with awareness or it slaps you in the face...either way you are left going "OH! yes that's right!" and you go along your merry way as if nothing happened, just with a new found knowledge of whatever it was that struck you.


things change, that goes without saying. since the start of this blog, and the time of now, i've moved. again. from what i could have, still do, and will again, call my home, to another place, equally good for me, but still there's that factor that isn't there. it's not a slight against where i am, or who i am with, but the fact remains i'm not where i thought i would be. its an ever growing concept, change, you think you know where life is going and then suddenly, your over-hard-egg turns into an over-easy egg and yolk is going everywhere, with no way to stop it in sight.

there are things you know, and things you learn to know. memories that tickle your mind, memories that you shouldn't have, have had no way of actually having, and yet, that deja vu feeling is there, and you can't pinpoint -why- or how....it's just there, and you are left scrambling in it's wake, trying to piece the jumble together, trying to figure out the unfigurable...trying to put right what went wrong in your world.

everyone has their limits, be they percieved or otherwise, written in stone, or in sand, in permenate marker or a pencil...it's down it's there...people can go past their limits unknowingly and continue on, never knowing why things feel so brittle inside, never knowing why things look so dull and grey. some people just -stop- well below their limit, not wanting to take that risk and move upward for fear of crossing over that line, fear of ruining something, someone..themselves.

there isn't a happy medium, it's so hard to strive for it...that many don't even bother. i feel sometimes that the world is just full of those who stop...and just a handful go over their limits...the rest just move on by not caring how things go or how they are seen by the world...not caring if the world sees them.


invisible or right in your face....those almost seem to be the only two choices in life...and yet...there has to be another way. a better way....we just have to find it.